I’m trying not to have paraskavedekatriaphobia – which means fear of Friday 13th. Although I did just skip over cracks in the footpath and go around a ladder on my morning walk. But back to paraskavedekatriaphobia. I know this word because I’ve just been reading one of those crazy sites that list all the phobia words. Did you know that there is a fear of the colour purple? It’s porphyrophobia and if you have it, that would be sad, as violet is the eyeshadow colour of the moment. I’m not sure there is a word for lip-colour phobia – but I’m thinking there should be because I’m thinking I may have it. It all started when I got back from my Byron boot camp week. Strange things happen after a health detox. You start to kind of detox your life. You sort out some toxic relationships. You go into a housework frenzy. And you lose the taste for many things. I haven’t been able to stomach coffee and red wine since doing a month-long detox last January (yes, a bit sad about that). After last week’s mini detox, I seem to have lost my love of lip gloss. Actually, more than that – I quite hate it at the moment. Makes me feel like I’m suffocating my lips. I haven’t been able to wear any lip colour all week, instead preferring just lashings of Lucas’ Papaw Ointment (fyi: I know I talk about this all the time – just want to say for the record, I’m not getting paid by the company, I’m simply a borderline-stalker fan). Apparently nobody else has this same fear, so I’ve had to make up the official word myself. Seems you just find the Greek word for what you’re scared of and whack on ‘phobia’ to the end. So, ta-da, introducing: kragionphobia. Literally: fear of lipstick. I hope I won’t have it for too long though – could be a possible career liability.

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