As such I would like to propose the following to make your beauty transition as smooth as possible …

• Jump in the shower and exfoliate away those dead dull skin cells with a scrumptious salt scrub (I’m in love with the ones from The Body Shop right now).
• Wash hair with fruity-smelling shampoo (for example: Clairol Herbal Essences) and leave in a conditioning treatment for a few minutes (now is the perfect time for that salt-scrub).
• Towel-dry hair, spritz in a saltwater spray (I went for John Frieda’s one this morning), twist into a beachy updo.
• Cleanse then apply a hydrating or brightening mask for five minutes (did you know Clarins Beauty Flash Balm doubles up well for this?) before moisturising the face.
• Apply one great big coat of tanner. Go pre-tinted to get a head-start on your summer glow. Or go for a gradual tanner if you’re in a rush or tanning-challenged (like myself, and I’m currently using Nivea Sunkissed Skin, in case you’re interested).
• Flick on mascara and lavish on a bright orange or pink lip gloss (Really - trust me, it looks good. I just rediscovered the fluoro-coral-ish MAC Electron Pink).
• Mist on frisky spring scent, maybe something rosy, like Stella McCartney’s original.
• Add floral frock and watch your new-season self bloom beautifully, you gorgeous thing.

This is the photo currently on the wall above my computer. How hot is it? The shot is from the latest Gap campaign. Her name is Twyla Tharp and she’s an American dancer/choreographer. It reminds me to not stay stuck sitting at my desk for too long, and to always make sure to make my all my yoga classes. I totally intend to do the cupcake-baking bun-wearing bingo-playing thing when I’m older, but doesn’t mean I can’t have hot bendy legs too.

I think we’re all over Britney-bitching. I think we all want to see her make a comeback. I know I do. And I hope her next fragrance will be as successful as her first, Curious. But come on, don’t insult our intelligence with such an unrealistic image. I mean, I don’t want to see her letting it all hang out while she sucks on a fag and a Jim Beam. After all, there are enough paparazzi shots like that going around as is. But still, surely there’s a way to advertise Believe without resorting to head-to-toe photoshop, or a body double, or whatever it is that’s gone on here. Have to say though, I quite like the hair and haircolour. Whoever it belongs to.

It’s both a full moon and a lunar eclipse tonight. If you look up east from sunset, you’ll see the moon fall completely into the earth’s shadow. For some reason it will turn a reddish shade. There’s a scientific explanation, of course. Which I can’t quite get my head around at 7.30 in the morning. I’m just glad to know that the moon won’t be dripping in blood, which is what they used to think, in ye olde days when crazy superstitions and long velvet dresses had their hey-day.

But if you do ever find yourself hankering for a bit of gothic glamour, tonight would be your night. I’d leave the crushed velvet in the chest, but you could get away with a purple lip. I’ve never been a fan myself. But purple does seem to be having a bit of a moment. Yves Saint Laurent has a beautiful deep but sheer purple lipstick out next week (plus a heaven matching polish - part of its autumn/winter story). MAC has a quite wicked lipstick called Up the Amp. And Revlon’s Wild Orchid has a pretty magenta edge to it, perfect if you’re a fairer-haired kind of gothic girl.

For best effect, wear with pale skin - so skip the self-tanner today. And, again, the crushed velvet. And maybe leave the placards about impending doom at home too.